BEING NON JUDGEMENTAL JUST FEELS RIGHT

By nature we are instinctual animals and it is evident that the path to mindfulness and connectedness that we seek is in fact a return to our more natural state. Before social norms and laws started to provide direction for what was appropriate behaviour, we have always had a sense of intelligent instinct to draw on for a sense of right and wrong. Granted, we have become a lot more complex in our evolution but it’s still there, that gnawing sense of unease that is a sense of alarm for wrong thoughts or actions. Becoming mindful in part, is about the journey towards being more in tune with our senses and our ability to interpret our thoughts allowing us the conscious control of reactivity to those thoughts that is so critical in our sobriety recovery.

AA’s famous and enduring anachronism of the coin ‘stinken thinken’ throws a wide net over the host of anxiety laden thoughts that can bring about stress. Its an apt designation for unconstructive thinking but there is a host of variations within those lesser constructs of the mind which should be dissected and considered individually. JUDGEMENT is one very powerful and very negative construct of the mind which is particularly well camouflaged by our egos and sense of self identity. Ironically, as we work on improving our own integrity and sense of authenticity, we start to define right and wrong which by transference we can use as a measuring stick for judging others. The irony lays in the hidden dagger that turns on us threatening to damage our own integrity in being judgemental where all of the other aspects which provided the reason for our own value system do not exist. Fortunately, if we are really in tune with our thoughts, our instincts will warn us when our thoughts are inappropriate and causing us harm rather than providing a constructive basis for actions, which can be even more harmful to both ourselves and others.

Judgement can spawn off a host army of other enemies to mental ease including resentment and envy. These flourish in the realm of social media addiction by comparison as we are aware. On a positive side many lessons stem from our acknowledgement of judgement and its derivative thoughts being negative influences on our path to a better life. Such is true of almost all of the pitfalls of growth that we go through on the way towards wisdom. Experiences of pain often lead to gain. Once we start to see that judgement and its derivative thoughts are negative, we can reshape our consideration of these thoughts in terms of placing ourselves in the other person’s position and looking for ways to empathize, or perhaps learn from their perspective. Here, it becomes debatable whether all actions and values and are worthy of our own open consideration of perspective which most people will reply to, definitely not! But, where do you draw the line as to when you consider your own values to be ground in such undeniable truth, that they are unquestionable? Perhaps this becomes another one of those more humanely intuitive realisms, in recognizing wrong thoughts and actions, such as against acts against humanity, inequality or nature terrorism which renders them obviously wrong. In that case, everything else which is not part of your non negotiable set, is worthy of looking at more closely. In fact, the more open minded you are, the more you stand to grow as an enlightened human being, recognizing that judgement never feels good, so is it really ever right?